What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?
Last Updated: 20.06.2025 01:18
Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.
Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?
About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.
Has a cop ever said something to you which was completely unexpected?
What! how could you do that?
“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”
What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?
What was your most memorable combat mission during the Vietnam War?
My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”
True - how I loved my mum!
What do you mean son?
Can a mother forget her child after she puts him or her up for adoption?
Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”
She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”
So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.
Do you know what she said mum?
Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!
Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.
What causes you to be tired all the time and major headaches?
“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”